Unmute Yourself

SEASON 3 E10: Losing Yourself to Find Yourself with Jodi Wilding

• Jennifer • Season 3 • Episode 10

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0:00 | 29:35

Jodi Wilding had a life most people would romanticize: travel, freedom, adventure. And she walked away.

She chose the stable path, the path that looked right to others, and slowly… lost herself. I hear versions of this story all the time. Not because women don’t know what they want, but because they stop trusting themselves enough to go after it.

This episode is about that exact moment, when you realize something’s off, and you can’t unsee it.

We talk about:

  •  Losing touch with your intuition 
  •  The hidden cost of following the “right” path 
  •  Burnout, guilt, and silent dissatisfaction 
  •  What it takes to come back to yourself and reclaim your power 

If something in your life feels off, don’t ignore it. That feeling isn’t random — it’s your inner voice asking to be heard.

If you’re circling a decision you already know you need to make— let’s talk. https://calendly.com/jennifer-flashlightthinking/strategy-call

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Connect with Jodi Wilding:

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“Your Way” by Mark July | Licensed by Uppbeat | License code: KKHUU4BLYO3R5SKJ
https://uppbeat.io/t/mark-july/your-way

  •  0:00 – Welcome & intro 
  •  2:15 – Jodi’s early life & adventurous spirit 
  •  5:30 – Choosing the “right” path vs. intuition 
  •  10:45 – Signs you’re losing touch with yourself 
  •  15:20 – Burnout, guilt & silent dissatisfaction 
  •  21:00 – How to reclaim your power & trust yourself again 
  •  26:50 – Closing thoughts & key takeaways 

What’s the decision you already know the answer to… that you keep circling anyway?

#UnmuteYourselfPodcast #JodiWilding #BurnoutRecovery #TrustYourself #SelfDiscovery #Leadership #WomenInBusiness #PodcastForWomen #InnerVoice #Empowerment

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SPEAKER_01

Welcome back to Unmute Yourself. I'm your host, Jennifer Carter, and this podcast is about lifting the curtain on leadership, purpose, and the real stories behind women who dared to do things differently. We will talk about how they found their path, the struggles along the way, and how they built something that truly matters. And these are normal people doing extraordinary things because I want you to know you are extraordinary too. My guest today is Jodi Wilding. And I love her story, y'all, because you'll just you'll just have to wait and see. It's it's like expect the unexpected. So she's a former nurse, turned coach who helps entrepreneurs and small business owners stop burning themselves out and start building lives that actually fit who they are. So she has this whole journey that she's going to talk about when she was 18. She changed the world, right? She's traveling around, living with freedom and purpose. And then there came a point where she had to figure out, right, if which route she was going to take. So, Jody, I'm so glad you're here. So nice to meet you.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. It's great to be with you, Jennifer.

SPEAKER_01

Tell us about you and especially when you were 18 and where life took you.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm. Well, I think for me, I look at my story, and so when I was 18 was the first time I had those two paths in front of me, right? Are you gonna go left? Are you gonna go right? And I chose to go left and take the unconventional path. I didn't want to go to university right away. And so I moved out west and I had this vision that I was gonna just, yeah, I wanted to change the world. I wanted to spread love and joy. I didn't know the how, but I just knew that going to university right away wasn't for me. And so that just began, you know, travels and adventure and really cool experiences and opportunities throughout my 20s. So where'd you go? So well, I moved out to Vancouver, so the west coast of Canada, and I was out there and I worked with a real estate um international real estate company. That was one of my first jobs. So I did that. And I could have stayed there, but I was like, no, it just didn't feel like me. So then I traveled, I did some travels in Thailand, came back, and I worked back in British Columbia doing community service, working with adults with developmental challenges, which I loved. Then I went to China. I taught English in China, rural China, actually right near Wuhan, which was Oh my gosh. Yeah. So I started COVID. Yeah, everyone knows Wuhan now. So I was there when I was about 20, I don't know, I was early 20s, 22, 23, teaching English. I also went and lived in the States, Martha's Vineyard, for a couple years, and then traveled to Central and South America. Where else did I go in that time? I taught like dog sledding. I helped train a dog sledding team I know the most random things. I worked as a producer's assistant on a commercial as well. So again, really cool, just really random experiences and adventures. And then that brought me to Australia. So I was in Australia around, I got, I guess I would have been like 26, 27 at that point. Well, that was then where that next turning point that we really talked about when that came in, where it's like, am I gonna stay going left? Which was at that time. And we can go back a little bit here and talk about like the really key moment story. But at that point, it was, am I gonna be a yoga teacher and go and do that? Which would have made sense because I was literally doing yoga for a couple hours every day, all day, or come back home and go back to school.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so what what made you choose or what what prompted that decision to go back to Canada and go to school?

SPEAKER_00

So I'll tell. And because this was a really significant story in my life, and it's still one that just really, really resonates with me. Was when I was in Australia, I went to Bali for a month. And when we were in Bali, on day one, something happened where our car got broken into, and so a lot of our money and cards were stolen. So that's important to know at the end of the story. So I was there for a month, and on the last day, I was traveling back to Australia. And on the way back, we stopped at the beach and I was stung by a scorpion. And that was after doing 10 days in Ubud Bali of like juice fasting and cleansing and all of that. So my body was just pure, pure, pure, was stung by the scorpion, which was really quite painful. And I had to get um an injection and I was on some medications, and then I was quite sick. So I returned to Australia and I had no money. I had about $100 to my name. I was sick from the scorpion bite and I had zero plan. Yeah, I just trusted. I had this belief and this trust in myself at this time that everything was gonna work out, and and it did. And it was great. I had an amazing adventure there, went back to eventually found my way back to Sydney where I met up with the love of my life at the time, and um, which unfortunately ended in heartbreak. Yes. So, and that was one of those defining moments. It was just this perfect kind of moment where it's like the heartbreak where I thought it was gonna go one way. 30 was on the horizon, you know, and all of the expectations, I'm getting goosebumps even right now, talking about it. It was like all of the expectations and the shoulds that I had been able to tune out and just listen to my own self and my own intuition, my own navigation system got really loud at this time. Right. It was like he's on the horizon. When are you gonna settle down, Jody? When are you gonna get, you know, a pension and a stable career? And, you know, what's yoga teaching? Like, you're not gonna make much money doing a yoga teacher, and that doesn't give you stability. And so all of that just started to weigh on me. And so I thought, okay, well, if I do nursing, I can still be of service, I can travel the world, and it just made sense. So I decided, made that decision at that time to come back and and go to university and become a nurse.

SPEAKER_01

What was it like to go from like high levels of trust, traveling the world, following your intuition to then why does the word reabsorbing? Because it feels like being reabsorbed back into traditional life. Like, what was that like?

SPEAKER_00

Honestly, it was hard. And it was, I remember when I arrived back because I also left Australia too and came back and it was December. So I come back to Canada where it's like gray and cold, and I feel like I just needed that little bit of boost, and that would have been enough. But I had already started to commit down this path. And it was like each little decision that I made, like that was one big decision. But then I kept making decisions after that, which I was like overriding myself and my own intuition and my own instincts to try and fit in and to belong and to be like, well, this is the safe, this is the safe path. This is how it's supposed to be. At some point, you know, you're telling yourself, at some point, Jody, you have to grow up and you have to do, to do this and to do what everybody else is doing. So I'm like, I guess this is just how life works. And I pushed it off long enough, and now you have to kind of suck it up and do it. But it was for the next four years, it was like fitting a square peg into a round hole where I was just really trying to bend and contort myself to fit into this.

SPEAKER_01

What do you think pushed you to go the safe route?

SPEAKER_00

I think I think that's a great question. I think it was just this moment where I had been gone for a long time. And yeah, and so I think I was a little bit tired and a little defeated at that moment. And then too, with the heartbreak, the story that I started telling myself at that time was I was too much. And I started to believe that I wasn't worthy because of the whole pattern and and what that relationship had. I started to believe this about myself. And so I think that's too why I was like, okay, I I think maybe I should trust others and maybe they have a point in what they're saying. And how long can I keep going on like this? So I think that was part of that decision-making process for sure.

SPEAKER_01

That makes so much sense. I talk to a lot of women that have been labeled too much, and most of them don't have the, they don't take the chance to spread their wings and follow their intuition and just go. Like most people choose the same path, a safe path. So it's so interesting to me that the same kind of programming of you're too much and you're not worthy pushed you back onto the safe path.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That you were never really meant to be on.

SPEAKER_00

No. And you could feel it. I really did feel that shift. And throughout my challenging for me. And I felt like in my 20s, I was magnetic because I was, I was myself. I trusted myself and the opportunities and the experiences that I had and that things came to me so easily, right? And I created my own luck. I created my own opportunities based on that. And then in my 30s, it was very different. It was, it was hard. And I wasn't, I often think about inflow and out of flow, and I was not in flow. Things were very challenging and hard and really felt like I was trying to force things in my life, even though I knew and I was like, this isn't, this isn't feel right. But I just got so far into that path and I just kept going until there came a point where I didn't even know who I was. Like I couldn't make a decision for myself for the life of me. I had to talk to everybody else because I had tuned out that that guidance system, that trust for myself that I just didn't even know who I was anymore. So how did you get it back? Well, that there came a point where, like I said, just before, now we're looking at just before 40, where I would wake up and not even recognize myself. And there were some things that happened, like my father passed away, which is a life-changing experience in itself, where you just really realized the preciousness of life. And I started to look at like, who are you? Like, this is not the life that you had that 18-year-old had set out to do. And what are you really doing? And looking and not even seeing myself in my own life anymore. And then I had my young son, and I started to think, I was like, I want him to have that full of life, you know, vibrant woman. Like I would want him to go after his dreams and to be his own person and to do that, but yet I'm not doing that myself. And so I started to think back of that version of me, like that scorpion girl. And I was like, Scorpion, you know, what is what was it about her? Like, she was full of light and love and like she was magnetic. And I'm like, how do I get that version of me back into this version that I had become? And so that's why that story was really significant because it really did become like a lighthouse for me. I was like, how do I bring that girl back? You know, what was it about her that was so just everything just came so natural and so easy? And I'd really miss that throughout my 30s. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01

And I I also wonder, like, how did you know, like, what did you feel in your body that told you you weren't aligned, something was wrong? I see a lot of women, they confuse responsibility for alignment because they're following a path, they're doing everything right, but something feels weird and they they can't identify it. So, what did that feel like for you that lets you know that it was an alignment scorpion girl trying to get out?

SPEAKER_00

Yes. So for me, it honestly was hard. Like I I was in this place where even though my son was around one, like between one and two during this time, and I felt very much alone. And I felt this constant like pressure on my chest. Like it felt like I even had to remind myself to breathe. I just felt this pressure and this sense of almost like hopelessness, where I was like, is this all there is? Is this what life is? Like it just I was missing meaning and purpose. And I it came to a point where because I had been performing and trying to be someone I wasn't, I was exhausted. You know, I was and I didn't want to go out. I didn't feel like I didn't have the energy to talk. And I remember even having like it felt like there was two sides of me. There was like the version that goes to work and how she's showing up there and trying to be in her career. And then there's this other version of me, and then there's the ones with like my good friends from back home because they really knew me. And so, and it was exhausting to try and keep up with all of that, you know? Yeah. So it was that, and I remember looking just yeah, just feeling that and feeling like I was broken. That was a big thing at that time. I really felt like I was broken and needed fixing, and that too felt overwhelming because I was like, there's just so many things that felt like it needed fixing at that time, and trying to find the answers or or how to how to do that. I knew something had to change, but I just didn't know the how or the what at that time. So, how did you get her back? What did you do? So it was a decision. Honestly, it was making that decision to choose me, and knowing that by making this decision to choose myself, that everyone else was going to benefit from that, right? And mainly at that time was my son. Cause I, like I said, I just I didn't want him to have this hollowed, watered down version. So yeah. So I made a decision and I started making some really tough choices in my life to start to move back to to who I was and to be really just authentic and to be myself. And so I think that was really it is just making that decision first. And then it was started the whole process of looking back and be like, okay, well, what was it? What and it was almost like little breadcrumbs throughout the life. Like, what are these little pieces here? When did I feel the most like me? When did I feel the happiest? What things do I really love? You know, what what brings me joy? What what am I curious about? And kind of bringing all these little pieces back together. And how can I bring this into my life now?

SPEAKER_01

That's great. And so, did you did you leave nursing altogether and transitioned into coaching? How did that go?

SPEAKER_00

And so, well, you mentioned the whispers. And so from the moment I was in Australia, one of my good friends in Australia, he was seeing a life coach at that time. And I'd never heard of it before, but I was really curious. And so we had lots of conversations about it, and it was something that like piqued my interest. When I graduated, Western, see, these are there's always little signs, and so it's paying attention to the signs. But when I graduated from my nursing degree, there was one of the coaching programs, like a big coaching program, had they were offering like a weekend certification or something at the university. And I remember talking to my mom and being like, Oh, like this looks really interesting. Like, I would love to do this. And she was like, You just finished. What are you doing? Can we just focus on this for right now? So I let it go, but it kept coming up and kept coming up and over like 10 years. It took me 10 years of hearing these whispers and these nudges and maybe slightly moving towards it, and then being like, no, no, like you can't do that, or who are you, or different things. Different things just got in the way, different stories and beliefs that I was telling myself until finally at that time, yeah. So I made the decision that I was like, that was one of the things. I I had over the 10 years tried different places within nursing and different roles to try and find where do I belong? How can I use my strengths in this profession? And without finding that, I just I finally decided, okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go and get certified in coaching, do my certification again. And I did that, which was during COVID. It was during COVID. My son was probably like three or four at this time. Um, I'd moved out, and so that was I needed the big transition. Big transition. So I needed the dust to settle from that before I actually began down that journey. And then I haven't looked back. It's been the most amazing, amazing thing. And so I'm so glad I made those decisions that I did at that time. And you work with uh entrepreneurs, right? I do, yes. Now I mainly work with entrepreneurs and some leaders as well, but most of them are entrepreneurs or small business owners.

SPEAKER_01

And you protect against burnout, right? And help people move through that. So, what patterns are you seeing over and over and over again?

SPEAKER_00

So, patterns, one definitely common pattern I would see would be people pleasing. And I think that was for me is that we're yeah, people pleasing, we're trying to do what other people think we should be doing, even just within our business. Like, oh, you should be doing it this way or that way, or so I think that's a big one. And also to trying all the different strategies and thinking like this person's blueprint to success is gonna be my blueprint. Right, right. And so I and early on too, I've had to learn this even just myself within my own business of being like just be you. You are your business. And the more that you can just listen to yourself and trust yourself and those little things that are whispering to you and follow those, the more successful you will be. And it's not about this strategy or that strategy, it's all about you. And so that's the big thing I work with people on is just like who are you? And what are all those stories or those beliefs that you have about yourself and what's possible and pulling that away so you can create the business that you really want. Because otherwise, that's what leads to burnout. When we're doing something that is really out of alignment with who we are and what we truly want, we just might not be aware of it.

SPEAKER_01

I hear a lot of women express guilt over wanting more. Do you hear that too?

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you brought that up. Yes, guilt is a big thing. And I actually did a talk a couple weeks ago, and I asked this question. Every single woman, it was a room full of women, every single woman put their hands up that they feel guilty for wanting more. Yeah. And and I'm not surprised, I felt that too for a long time. Yeah. Have you ever experienced that? Yeah, because it's like uh you should be grateful.

SPEAKER_01

Like you have it all, you have this great job, and you've got the wonderful husband in the house and the family and the pet. Yes. And great friends, and something still isn't in alignment, right?

SPEAKER_00

And that's exactly too how thank you for reminding me, that's exactly how I was feeling at that point before I made the decision, right? It's like looking at other people and thinking, they look so content. How are they so content? And what is wrong with me that I have this feeling that I want more and that I'm like settling somehow. And you do feel guilty for it. But what I've realized, and I'm sure you have too, is that you can be grateful for your life and still want more. That's the human experience, is that we are meant to evolve and to fully express ourselves and our gifts in the world. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And for me, the more isn't like more money or a new car. It's more, I think it's more authenticity. It's more being me.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And why do you think, why do you think authenticity is so difficult to achieve?

SPEAKER_00

Because I think it's bold. Like you have to be bold and courageous to one, I think to listen, to listen to that internal voice that's guiding you, then to trust it, trust yourself over everyone else, and then to take action on it. Because people might be telling you, like, no, you should be doing this, you should go this way. But you're like, no, I'm gonna trust myself and I'm gonna go left, even though you're telling me to go right. And that takes courage. And I do think one of the boldest things that you can do is to just be a hundred percent yourself. It's not easy when there's so much noise out there. Right. What do you think? What are your thoughts on them?

SPEAKER_01

Um, on why it's so difficult. I think it's fear of being cast out as an other. Because I think we s we We try to assimilate as much as we can to the middle. So we're all part of one big group. And if you're yourself and you don't completely align, you're gonna be singled out. So I think it's almost like a deep survival instinct. And at the same time, I've never been happier than when I'm peel off layer after layer after layer of the mask.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Right. Because it is like part of my story there when I said it is exhausting when you're when you're not. But it is but it is challenging for sure because we are. We want to be part of the group, part of a collective. And so to stand out, it takes courage.

SPEAKER_01

Because who does she think she is?

SPEAKER_00

Who does she think she is?

SPEAKER_01

She thinks she is. She's too much. Right. And then it's just like, fuck it.

SPEAKER_00

We're just gonna we're just gonna go, right. Then you gotta just go for it. And I think too, when you do that, like you might be the first in your group or your community or whatever to start doing that and to be true, but then you're giving everybody else permission to do that. And so once you make those bold moves, then it does ripple out and it allows others to be like, well, hey, if she can do that or he can do that, why can't I?

SPEAKER_01

Right. You know? Okay, so if you stripped away all of the guilt and the fear and everyone else's expectations, is there anything left that you would finally let yourself want? I know.

SPEAKER_00

There, like that I haven't allowed myself yet.

SPEAKER_01

Yet.

SPEAKER_00

I think for me, I've done a lot of work over the last few years. And I feel like for years, I wouldn't allow myself to have love. Like I didn't feel like I was worthy of that. And there was so much I didn't feel I was worthy of. And the that last little piece for me that really hung on there was success and money too. I've basically just repelled money for most most of my life. Right, right.

SPEAKER_01

Like I don't need that. I can live off a hundred dollars after being stung by a scorpion. It's gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_00

It's gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_01

It's fine. Everything's fine.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. So I think that's like that's it. I think it really is that success piece just because of the stories that I had told myself for for so long. And that's it's it does. It still takes work, but I've let so much of that go. And too, I think that piece of it is being me, is just being the most authentic version of me and allowing people to see my quirks, to see me for who I really am, and not trying to be someone that I'm not to allow that or who I think I should be in order to create success.

SPEAKER_01

I love it. Hey, are you ready for lightning round questions? Okay, okay. Okay, first answer that comes to mind. Okay, what part of yourself are you finally letting the world see?

SPEAKER_00

I think it is my quirky side. Like, I think it is that. And that that scorpion girl and even the nurse. I felt for a long time I had to hide these different parts of me, but now I just let it all go. I'm a little wide. Dog sled trainer.

SPEAKER_01

Dog sled trainer for crying out loud, Judy. Keeping it under wraps.

SPEAKER_00

All these little stories, they're all coming out now. I love it. Nice colors. So good.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. What story or belief about yourself did you have to unlearn to step fully into who you are?

SPEAKER_00

That the story I told myself since I was a little girl was that success wasn't meant for me and that I was a failure. Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_01

That's deep, Jody.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Good. And what does it cost you to be authentic, if anything, and why is it worth it?

SPEAKER_00

I honestly, I don't think it costs me anything to be authentic. I think it costs me a lot to not be authentic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

There we go. Look at you. I can't. Oh, this is so fun. Okay. What boundary have you set that protects your sense of self?

SPEAKER_00

Oh my goodness. That is such a good question because I had zero boundaries for probably most of my life.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And now I I have a lot of boundaries just around my time and my energy and just how I show up. So I don't know. To to just pick one, I'm not really sure. That's okay. That's good. I think I just am more confident in who I am. And so I'm okay with just being me. This is what I need. This is who I am. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Okay. If you could unmute one truth people are too afraid to say, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00

Oh goodness. And I knew this one was coming. We talked about this. This is such a good question.

SPEAKER_01

What keeps you grounded when you feel pressure to perform or fit in?

SPEAKER_00

That's a beautiful question. Honestly, do you know what it is? It's going back to, and I I think I might even get a little tattoo of the scorpion girl. It's like that is my that is my grounding of like remembering just who I am.

SPEAKER_01

Scorpion girl.

SPEAKER_00

The scorpion girl.

unknown

I love this so much.

SPEAKER_00

So I think that I just that grounds me and and it just brings me back back to everything. And then I too, I, you know, I have my son and yeah. Those other things, like so many other things that ground me. But that is a really big thing for me right now is just reconnecting to that and and holding on to that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Well, thank you so much for your time. Fascinating conversation. I love talking with you. Thank you. Yes. And if listeners walk away remembering just one thing, what do you hope it is?

SPEAKER_00

I think it's that around the offset, like just be a hundred percent you. And that is when you create your own luck and become your most magnetic self, is when you are you. And the world needs more you.

SPEAKER_01

Because there's only one.

SPEAKER_00

There's only one. And you said it like you are extraordinary. Like let that shine through. I think that's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_01

I love it. Well, um, so what has it meant for you to share your story here on Unmute Yourself today?

SPEAKER_00

I think for me, I just want to share because I know that there's other women and people, like I work with a lot of men too, who feel this way. And I think it's just knowing that you're not alone and um and that you can create whatever you want to create, right? You can just make that decision and change. And I hope that my story just helps inspires others to follow their path and to be who they really are. Amen.

SPEAKER_01

And how can listeners find you, connect with you?

SPEAKER_00

So I am so jodywilding.com is my website. I'm generally on LinkedIn or soon to be YouTube. I will be starting a YouTube channel. See how exciting.

SPEAKER_01

Well, let me know when you start. I'll make sure to follow you.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Well, you're so wonderful.

SPEAKER_01

You're like, hey, we could talk forever. I have so many more questions, but that'll be another time. So thank you, Jodi, and thank you to everyone listening and for choosing truth over comfort, alignment over approval, and courage over silence. And remember, I work with senior leaders navigating high-stakes decisions. I deliver keynotes that go beyond motivation, and coach leaders who are ready to move past being stuck in choices they already know they need to make. Jodi, I think you and I are in a similar boat here. Totally resonates. Let's connect and you will find details in the show notes. And if this episode resonated, share, subscribe, and stay with us as we explore what it means to live and lead without muting who we are. Until next time, unmute yourself and be who you already are.